Questions worth asking

Questions to ask your girlfriend

A deck of 160 questions for your girlfriend that go past “how was your day?” without getting heavy before you’re ready. Mix the levels you like, draw a card, and let the answer take as long as it takes.

160 questions
Light · Deep · Flirty · Us & future
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Light

What’s a meal that tastes like home to you, wherever you are?

Your saved questions (0)

Tap the heart on any card to keep it here. Saved on this device only, never sent anywhere.

Tip: the left and right arrow keys move through the deck.

How to use this deck

Choose the mood

Switch levels on and off. Light and Flirty make a playful evening; Deep and Us & future suit a slow one.
Take turns

Turn on pass the phone, add both names, and hand it over after each card so you both ask and answer.
Go one card deeper

When an answer surprises you, stay there. Ask what happened next before you draw again.
Keep the keepers

Heart the cards you want to come back to. They stay saved on this device.

Tips for a good round

Put phones face down, except the one with the deck.
If she seems unsure, answer the question yourself first. It makes opening up easier.
Not every card needs a big answer. A short one that makes you both laugh counts.
When a card lands on something tender, thank her for telling you before you move on.

All 160 questions to ask your girlfriend

All 160 questions in one place, grouped by level. Skim for favorites here, or let the deck above deal them out at random.

Light 40 questions

Playful openers about favorite things, places and memories.

What’s a meal that tastes like home to you, wherever you are?
What’s the last thing that made you laugh so hard you couldn’t breathe?
Which TV character do you think you’d be friends with in real life?
What would your perfect rainy day include, from start to finish?
What’s a book or movie you recommend to everyone, and does anyone ever listen?
If you opened a tiny shop, what would it sell?
What’s the most random fact you know by heart?
Which room, anywhere in the world, do you feel calmest in?
Which board game or card game turns you competitive?
What did you collect as a kid, and do you still have any of it?
What’s a city you’ve never visited but feel like you already know?
How do you like to pass the time on a long train or car ride?
Which emoji do you use the most, and is it accurate?
What’s a dish you’re proud of cooking, or one you’d love to learn?
If you could have dinner with any author, artist or musician, who’s at the table?
What’s the best concert or live show you’ve ever been to?
What do you always pack, even for one night away?
What was your favorite thing to do on summer breaks growing up?
Which word do you love just for how it sounds?
What’s the plant, pet or object you’ve kept alive the longest?
If you had a theme song for walking into a room, what would it be?
What’s your favorite time of day, and what are you usually doing then?
Which holiday do you look forward to most, and what makes it?
What’s the best thing you’ve bought for yourself this year?
What’s your idea of the perfect picnic menu?
Which of your friends would survive longest on a desert island, and why?
What’s a skill you had as a kid that you’ve since lost?
If you could instantly speak one new language, which would you pick?
What’s the most beautiful view you’ve ever seen?
What will you always stop to watch, no matter how busy you are?
Which era of your life had the best music?
What’s a guilty pleasure you’ve fully stopped feeling guilty about?
What’s your karaoke song, or the one you’d pick if someone made you?
What’s the funniest thing you believed as a kid?
If you got an extra hour every day, what would you use it for?
What compliment about your taste would make your whole week?
Which local spot near you do you think more people should know about?
What’s the most memorable meal you’ve had while traveling?
If your life were a sitcom, what would this season’s plot be?
What’s a small plan on your calendar that you’re secretly excited about?

Deep 40 questions

The moments, people and beliefs that shaped who she is.

What’s something you had to unlearn after leaving home?
Which moment in your life do you think about more than you expected to?
What’s a decision you made on your own that you’re glad you trusted yourself on?
Who taught you the most about how to treat people?
What does rest actually look like for you, not what you think it should look like?
Which part of your personality grew out of a hard time?
Where do you go, in your head or in the world, when you need to reset?
Which age would you revisit for one day, and what would you pay attention to this time?
What’s a belief about love you grew up with that you’ve since rewritten?
What role did you play in your family growing up: the peacemaker, the funny one, something else?
What worry visits you most often late at night?
Who do you go to when things fall apart, and why them?
When do you feel underestimated?
What’s something hard you did quietly that you’re still proud of?
What’s something about your work that people tend to misunderstand?
When someone gives you advice you didn’t ask for, what do you wish they’d done instead?
What does home mean to you now compared to when you were younger?
Which friendship changed the direction of your life?
What’s a goodbye that still feels unfinished?
How do you know when you’re ready to forgive someone?
What’s something you need to hear more often, even if it sounds simple?
Which season of your life do you wish you could explain to me better?
When do you feel most free?
When did you last surprise yourself?
What do you think people get wrong about you at first?
What’s a family tradition you want to carry forward, and one you’d leave behind?
What’s a choice you’d make differently now, and what keeps you from regretting it?
When you start to feel overwhelmed, what’s the first sign?
What gives you the feeling that your life means something?
What’s a kindness you find easier to give than to receive?
Which habit of the people who raised you do you catch yourself repeating?
What does being loved well feel like on an ordinary day?
What would you try if you knew nobody would judge you for it?
When do you trust your gut, and when do you second guess it?
When have you felt most out of place, and what got you through it?
What’s a lesson you keep having to learn twice?
What’s the best thing about who you are now that wasn’t there five years ago?
Who do you wish you’d thanked properly?
What’s a part of you that only comes out with the right people?
What’s a sign that you need a hug more than a solution?

Flirty 40 questions

Butterflies, compliments and the little things you notice, PG-13.

What’s one thing about our first conversation that you replayed afterward?
When did you realize you were in trouble, in the best way, with me?
What’s a look I give you that you can read from across a room?
Where’s the most unexpected place we’ve kissed, and would you do it again?
What’s the most charming thing I did on one of our early dates?
What do you love about the way I say your name?
What’s your favorite way to be held?
What would you want me to do more often when we say goodbye?
Which date of ours do you still brag about to friends?
What’s the flirtiest text you’ve almost sent me?
What’s a detail about my face you love that I probably never notice?
How do you like to be flirted with: subtle, bold, or ridiculous?
What’s your favorite memory of the two of us dressed up?
What could I cook or bring you that would instantly win you over?
What’s the most attractive skill I have?
Which of my jokes do you pretend not to love?
What’s a romantic movie moment you’d secretly love to recreate with me?
When were you the most nervous you’ve ever been around me?
When do you think I’m the most fun to be around?
What’s a secret signal we should have for when we want to leave a party together?
Which memory of us gives you butterflies when you replay it?
What do you love about the way I look at you?
What’s the cutest thing I do when I’m sleepy?
Where would you take me for a kiss with the best view?
Which of my opinions do you find unexpectedly attractive?
Which part of our goodnight routine is your favorite?
How would you describe my vibe to someone who’s never met me, in three flirty words?
What’s your favorite thing to do with me when it’s cold outside?
Which of our dates would make the best opening scene of a movie?
What’s something I did early on that you thought was smooth?
If you could steal one thing from my closet, what would it be?
What was your first impression of my style, and has it changed?
What’s your favorite photo of the two of us, and what were we laughing about?
What do you daydream about when I cross your mind during the day?
What’s the best surprise I’ve ever given you, and what made it land?
What’s a hobby of mine you’d love to watch me do?
What’s a cheesy pickup line you’d actually fall for if it came from me?
What’s the longest you’ve thought about me in one go?
What’s a small thing I do that makes you blush?
What’s one flirty thing you want me to do this week?

Us & future 40 questions

Your life together, from next weekend to the next ten years.

What’s a song, place or food that already feels like ours?
Which city can you picture us renting a tiny apartment in for a month?
When we have a big choice to make, do you like to talk it through fast or sleep on it?
What’s a strength of ours that would surprise people who don’t know us well?
What’s something you want to learn about me that you haven’t yet?
What do you picture us doing on a random Tuesday night a few years from now?
What would make our weekends feel more restful?
What’s an everyday moment where you’d like me to notice you more?
How do you want us to celebrate our next anniversary?
Who in our lives do you want us to see more of?
In what ways have we grown since we first got together?
What’s something you’d like us to try that scares you a little?
How should we handle it when one of us needs space?
What’s a dream for your own life that you want me to cheer on?
Which habit of mine would you like me to keep when life gets busy?
What’s a chore or errand we could turn into something fun together?
If we made a time capsule today, what would go in it?
What’s a holiday or season you want us to make our own?
How do you want us to show up for each other at big family events?
What’s a project we could build together, big or small?
What’s something we should stop worrying about as a couple?
What does feeling like a team mean to you?
What should go on our shared calendar next that isn’t an obligation?
How would you want us to handle a long stretch apart?
Which version of our life do you daydream about?
What’s a lesson from the relationships around you that you want us to keep, or skip?
What’s the best decision we’ve made together so far?
How do you want us to repair things after a bad day between us?
What’s a way of saying I love you that you’d like us to invent?
If we had a shared jar for fun money, what would we save for first?
What part of our life together feels most like home right now?
What’s something you’re ready to let go of so we can grow?
Which of my family or friends do you want to know better?
How do you feel about where we are right now, honestly and kindly?
What’s a goal we could chase together that has nothing to do with work?
What’s a fear about our future that we could look at together?
What should we celebrate next, just because?
How can we protect time for just us when life gets loud?
What would make our relationship feel even more like a safe place?
What do you want us to be brave about this year?

Frequently asked questions

What are good questions to ask your girlfriend?

Questions that are specific and curious, not a quiz. Asking which friendship changed the direction of her life will get you further than asking for her favorite movie. The deck is grouped into Light, Deep, Flirty and Us & future so you can pick the right kind for the moment.

What should I ask if we’ve just started dating?

Stay in Light for the first few conversations: favorite places, small rituals, the funniest things she believed as a kid. Flirty works once you both know the interest is mutual. Save Us & future for when you’re both thinking that far ahead.

Can we play this over text or a video call?

Yes. Copy any card into your chat, or send her the deck link so you can each draw on your own phone. On a call, one of you can simply read each card aloud.

What if a question feels too personal?

Skip it. Any card can be passed with no explanation, and Deep is optional. The deck works just as well as a light, playful game.

Does the deck save anything about us?

Only the cards you heart, and they stay in your browser on this device. Nothing you say or save is sent anywhere.