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The five-minute mirror

How are we, really?

A warm, honest check-in across the seven parts of a relationship that matter most. Twenty-eight questions, about eight minutes. Best done together, or send it to your partner and see both of your answers side by side.

28 questions ~8 minutes Free, no signup Two-player compare
Communication Conflict & Repair Trust & Safety Appreciation Intimacy Fun & Play Shared Goals

Takes ~8 minutes. Pause anytime, your progress is saved.

Tip: use number keys 1 to 5 to answer faster. Esc to go back.

What the check-in measures

A relationship check-in is a simple, structured way to notice how the two of you are actually doing, before anything is on fire. This one scores seven dimensions of relationship health, drawn from Gottman's Sound Relationship House and Emotionally Focused Therapy. It is built for the everyday, not the crisis. There is no pass or fail, no grade, and no scary number. Just a warm Snapshot of your bright spots and your tender places, and a way to compare it with your partner's.

Communication

How heard you feel, and how safely you can raise a hard thing. Grounded in Gottman's Love Maps and the softened startup, and EFT accessibility.

Conflict & Repair

How you find your way back to each other after a fight. Grounded in Gottman's work on repair attempts and what happens after the argument.

Trust & Emotional Safety

How safe it feels to be fully yourself here. Grounded in EFT's A.R.E. (accessible, responsive, engaged) and Gottman's model of trust.

Appreciation & Fondness

How seen and valued you feel in the ordinary days. Grounded in Gottman's fondness and admiration, and turning toward the small bids.

Intimacy & Closeness

How close you feel, in confidence and in body. Grounded in EFT's model of emotional and physical closeness and lasting bonds.

Fun & Play

How much lightness, play, and delight you still share. Grounded in Gottman's positive perspective, treating play as maintenance, not a luxury.

Shared Goals & Meaning

How aligned you feel on the life you are building. Grounded in Gottman's shared meaning and honoring each other's dreams.

How this check-in works

You answer 28 short statements, four for each of the seven dimensions, on a simple scale from strongly disagree to strongly agree. One statement in every group is worded in reverse, so honest answers matter more than fast ones. Your answers become a Snapshot: a warm band for each dimension (from "a bright spot" to "asking for care"), one overall word for where the two of you are right now, your brightest spot, and the one place quietly asking for care. No dimension is ever shown as a grade out of a hundred.

Do it together, or compare side by side

The Snapshot is useful on your own. It is far more useful shared. Finish your check-in, then send your partner a private link. They do their own, and you see both Snapshots side by side, including shared strengths you can lean on, shared growth where you already agree what to work on, and the single biggest divergence, the one dimension you each experience most differently. That gap is not a problem to fix. It is usually the most useful conversation the two of you can have, and this shows you exactly where to start.

Sample statements from the check-in

Here is the kind of thing you will be responding to, so you know what you are signing up for.

  1. Communication. "When something is bothering me, I can bring it up with my partner without it turning into a fight."
  2. Conflict and Repair. "After a disagreement, we find our way back to each other before too long."
  3. Trust and Safety. "I can be fully myself with my partner, even the messy parts."
  4. Appreciation. "My partner notices the small things I do and lets me know they appreciate them."
  5. Fun and Play. "We still laugh together and make each other smile."

The five-minute mirror, and the fifty-minute one

This free check-in is the five-minute mirror: quick, private, and yours to keep. If it surfaces something you want to sit with, the Twogle Check-In is the deeper version, a guided session where a certified relationship practitioner reads your Snapshot with you and helps you turn it into a plan. Twogle is not a licensed therapy service, and this tool is not a diagnosis. If you or your partner are in crisis, please contact a licensed professional or emergency services.

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